life · thoughts

Employers WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME!! :(

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Everyday now for about 4 months I come in from work, of course have a relaxation time and then I get into the job hunting. I normally spend 2-3 hours sometimes maybe more than that hunting jobs. I seriously think now I am suffering from anxiety and stress because of not only the job I am in now but also looking for a job.

I have mentioned on here previously of job interviews I have gone for, employers who have approached me and vice versa. It’s not that literally there is nothing there, but its just so hard and its so demotivating.

I am looking on every site that I can think of, I am also looking at jobs that I am not THAT interested in but it will just give me something else to put my brain and mind towards. I am now looking for a job in which I am not timed to the second for how long I go to the toilet…… yes it’s that bad. Other things if you are a second late from your break etc, I can see all my friends on Facebook for example going to meetings in restaurants in their lunch breaks, having team days outs, their own work environment and it just looks like it is not work – it’s something that they enjoy!

I to this point have looked into of course marketing (As that is what my degree is in), but also educational, charity, administration, retail etc. I am just tempted at the moment to take back up a supermarket job as I did enjoy that but I wanted more out of life, which I thought I was getting.

I know I know that I cannot moan at all due to the fact I actually have a full time job (which is really great in the environment at the moment), but when you are being constantly judged by someone you don’t know over the phone, being yelled at (btw when we put you on hold, we can hear you!) not getting many thank yous, praise is only for the management – you literally just feel so shit.

My friend has just left my job and she said she can’t believe that she can come in any time of the day she wants, if she is 5 minutes late – SO WHAT?! this is the same company by the way just a different department. She doesn’t have to think how long she is going to the toilet for lol little things like that, but it does really make you think.

I know again that I should feel very positive in that I do have a job, I have money coming in etc. Mentally I am drained, I am getting unwell and I just don’t want it anymore.

I am looking for jobs, I want a full time job (not part time, not flexi time, not maternity and not a sales job meeting targets so the business does not have to pay you the full amount you should be getting) A simple job, good wage (£16,000+ is all good) and a relaxed atmosphere.

Is it that hard? Just come to the end of my tether now. I haven given myself a headache haha oh dear!

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