First of all I have just watched the magnificent Breakfast at Tiffany’s for the first time and wow, why and how have I not watched it before. I can see so much of me in her, its ridiculous. But it also taught me a life lesson, which was simply said by “Fred”:
“You know what’s wrong with you, Miss Whoever-you-are? You’re chicken, you’ve got no guts. You’re afraid to stick out your chin and say, “Okay, life’s a fact, people do fall in love, people do belong to each other, because that’s the only chance anybody’s got for real happiness.” You call yourself a free spirit, a “wild thing,” and you’re terrified somebody’s gonna stick you in a cage. Well baby, you’re already in that cage. You built it yourself. And it’s not bounded in the west by Tulip, Texas, or in the east by Somali-land. It’s wherever you go. Because no matter where you run, you just end up running into yourself.”
I am forever terrified that someone is going to stick me in a cage, not allow me to be free and to not allow that chance for such happiness. I know what I want and who I want, but I missed out on those chances and now I am the one unhappy.
One of my biggest thought issues, which not only has been this week but has been for many months is the “what if?” What if drives me insane, it worsens my anxiety and it worsen the future thoughts as well. I am not one to jump into something, I like to think a lot before I do things. But the downside of waiting too long, is that the more time you wait, the more time you start to think of the negatives of that “thing”.
My girl friends know the real me, but don’t at the same time. I listen to them being very happy in their relationships and also the downsides. I listen to those who are single and sleeping with this man and that man etc but that’s just not me. I want someone to like me for me and men/boys have, but as soon as they say they like me… its like nooooooooo back off!!
Films like No Strings Attached and Friends with Benefits have although some serious strong same storylines (1 lots of S’s there lol, 2 why brings these two films out at the same time I will never know), but these films struck accord with me. No I am not gonna go around sleeping with lots of people but its the girl’s attitudes that got to me. The quote above, is exactly what I described earlier and I do do that.