Celebrating my 20s – end of an chapter

Hey beauts, I hope that you had a fab Christmas and I hope that you’re still eating all of the cheese and chocolates, whilst drinking a lot of wine.

I’m currently sat writing this whilst watching Cinderella and looking at my phone every 2 minutes as my best friend is going go have a baby any minute!! I’m so excited.

As the year draws to a close, so does my 20s. This time next week i will be 30. Oh god I feel a little bit sick at the thought of it. So as I’m sat watching a Disney movie, I thought I’d reminisce over this last decade, share my favourite memories and lessons I’ve learnt.

Here we go:

My 20th:

My 20th consisted of partying with my teenage best friends, we went out for a lovely meal and then clubbing the night away. I loved this night, so many laughs and stupid photos were taken that night. I love how one of my best friends came out when she was 8.5 months pregnant, I mean only to the meal but it meant a lot!!

It is a shame now, that out of all the people above I speak with only 3 of those. Unfortunately life happens, things change, relationships grow and drift apart but we will always have the memories.

My 20th at uni was themed around the idea of bright colours. My lovely friends did not disappoint and I honestly cannot remember this night .

By god though i would not wear that outfit out now, one because I don’t have that confidence anymore, two I’m not 20 lol.

My 21st

My 21st at uni consisted of everyone dressed like a Cat, as I am… a cat. I still have the pink heart around my neck on my keyring. Again, another night I simply cannot remember lol. Bad alcohol.

University

My time at university was a rollercoaster, I loved my time, but I wouldn’t do it again. I wouldn’t have the same experiences, or make the same best friends. I have grown a lot from university and the experiences it gave me.

I learnt to stand up against those who mentally abuse others, to know who I am, what I want to be, my strengths and weaknesses. I learnt to be me.

The friendships I’ve made are life lasting, we have been through things that no one else has gone through and we will always be there for each other. I speak with the friends I made there every week.

I also met my best friend and I wouldn’t change a thing. Here are some photos of my time:

Getting my degree

I think getting my degree is one of the hardest things I’ve done. I’m not that academic and my brain seems to work in  a way different from others. I remember speaking with my dissertation tutor at the time and he said that I work differently to many that he has seen, and i write how I think. Oh hi, this is how I write this blog lol. But anyway, the first time I handed in my dissertation I actually failed university.

Screenshot_20181229-165126_Facebook

Here I am looking all proud when handing in my dissertation. But unfortunately that went tits up. I was gutted, I wasn’t able to graduate with my class and I had to wait until the next year to do this, on my own.

Screenshot_20181229-165724_Facebook.jpgMy graduation day was a whirlwind of emotions. I really can’t remember it and I’m so thankful for my family for taking a lot of photos.

Although I am not in a career that was followed with my degree, I have learnt so much that I use daily.

The day was full of happiness, pride but so much sadness. You will see in the photo above that I am wearing a necklace with a ring around it. That’s my nan’s wedding ring, she unfortunately passed away less than a month before my graduation. I wanted her to be close to me and I remember sleeping that night in her empty house, in the chair she used to always sit in. I miss her terribly.

Love of those gone

As I mentioned the loss my nan really hit me hard, and it will still make me emotional any time I think of her. I mean I’ve got tears in my eyes now. My nan passed away 16 January 2011 and it broke my heart.

The love of a lost one is something that you will slowly get over, this is something that I have absolutely learned over time. Over the 10 years, I have lost some powerhouses in my life and although they will never affect me as much as my nan, they still bruise my heart. But they give you strength,  strength to grow as a person and to find out how you can cope in different situations.

My other nan in the past decade is an idol in my eyes. She has defeated 2 cancers and is growing so much as a person.

Unfortunately this year, her cancer came back and this time she has decided to not have any help. I can’t ever imagine making this decision, but what we can do is to make the rest of her life special.

Life lesson: take each day with a pinch of salt and just bloody go for it!

My girls

Gosh I don’t even know where to begin with these 4 girls. I bloody love them to pieces and I don’t think I could ever explain my gratitude and love for them. The photos above a literally a snapshot of all of the happiness. We have never once argued. 3 out of 4 of them we all live in the same town, with our histories intertwining one way or another. With the introduction in the last 10 years of 3 children between them and another one literally on their way, I love how our true friendship is blossoming and growing! My other amazing best friend lives hours away, although we don’t see each other all of the time, we talk. Thank God for WhatsApp! She has had 3 beautiful girls and I love that she is fulfilling her dream.

My close friends

I bloody love this lot.

What I have definitely realised over the past 10 years, is that you truly will learn who your friends are. They give you the strength to overcome the hard times, the laughs to give you the best memories and the straight talk to make you remember. Although some of the above have now left my life, I am glad that they were once in it. We may not talk all of the time, but I know that they will always be there.

I have loved seeing my friends getting married, having babies, celebrating birthdays in style, they really are amazing.

Friendship is the key to happiness and no matter whether you have the love of a small group of friends or a large amount, as long as they make you smile -that’s what matters.

My family

Back when I was 20, i honestly thought I would have moved out and got my own family by now, but life just is different to what you dream.

The past 10 years have really made my family a better unit. With the graduations of both myself and my brother, my nan’s health, my nan’s passing, a house fire, my dad’s brain injury and all of the bits inbetween we have triumphed.

I honestly wouldn’t be able to cope with them. I have learnt that your family are your family, whether they are blood related or not. I have found out that those who are blood related can literally mean nothing and those who are not, can mean the absolute world. I am at peace with that.

Love your family as much as they can, they can be your rock, your lifeline and the ones who givethe best hug when you need them.

Work

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At the age of 20, I was a student at uni and when I was at home I worked at the local supermarket. It absolutely wasn’t what I wanted and I ended up getting out looking for a quick change and ended up in a call centre.

3 years later I work for an amazing team, where I laugh daily, I learn from others and we all respect one another.

Although it may not be my dream job, it’s a passionate job. A job that I can keep teaching myself about.

My health

The past 10 years, I have learnt that my body often disliked me.

My journey with thoracic outlet syndrome has really fucked me up. I’ve had, 3 operations/procedures, a number of rounds of physiotherapy, and visits to the osteopath. I’ve learn to live with the chronic pain daily, I honestly dont know what it would to be like to wake up and not be in pain!!

I’ve learned that I have fibromyalgia and hypermobility, again another thing to add.

My journey with pcos has been interesting, the past 10 years I have learnt to try and love myself. Yes my facial hair is getting worse, my weight is increasing and the fear of not having kids is big – but you just live with it.

Learned to love me

20181229_195709I definitely have done a lot of growing up. I have learned who I am, where I want to go, what things I like and I don’t like and how to stand up for myself and others.

I truly believe that you can always change who you are, you may have to fight for what you want but if you really want to be happy you go for it.

Learn to love things that others may not find interesting, apply that make up and feel confident, with that take as many photos as you bloody want.

Love

ba1d85aeb22c1090435542ff10e567b8My 20s consisted of a lot of regret for not going with my heart.

Regret that I didn’t say yes. Regret that I didn’t just think “fuck it”.

I will leave it at that.

My thirties

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Many have told me that the thirties will be the best. You will find the true meaning of you.

So my thirties I want to explore more, love more, learn more and I would LOVE to just live life.

My lessons to my past self would be to:

  • Say yes
  • Go on that date
  • Take as many STUPID photos as possible
  • Drink more on nights out
  • Take up a hobby
  • Learn another language sooner
  • Travel more
  • Speak your mind!!
  • Slow yourself down
  • Bloody save woman
  • Have confidence in yourself, you’re alright you know.

Thanks for reading lol… Bit of a long one.

 

2 thoughts on “Celebrating my 20s – end of an chapter

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