Don’t forget to breathe… why I’ve been quiet lately.

Hey lovelies,

You may or probably may not have noticed that I have been a little quiet on here and on social media. I’ve been a little busy lately in my own life and things have just taken over.

At work, my life has been a bit hectic, I have been moving companies (back to the company that tuped us out in the first place), it’s all happened so quickly and to be honest came out of the blue. I didnt know if my job was safe and now I know that my job role is changing, but I also have the opportunity to go up in my role… but I’m hoping that I’ve got enough confidence to go for it!!

Secondly, my mum has been seriously unwell.

Last week mid Tuesday morning around about 430am I heard the phone going off and I honestly thought “wtf is happening?” And my mum was screaming in pain.

2 hours later, she was was rushed off to hospital in an ambulance and I just didnt know what was going on. She was in incredible amount of pain, couldn’t unfortunately wee and her leg was numb. The NHS have been fucking amazing.

She ended up being transferred to a London hospital and had to have an emergency operation on her back, to remove some of her spine. We later discovered that if she didnt have operation, she would have been paralysed.

I’ve been very much stressed and the idea of doing a blog post or anything I just couldn’t be arsed. I was so incredibly tired and emotionally drained.

I do have some other shut going on but thats for another blog where I literally want to moan.

So that’s my update. Lol what have you been up to?

Speak up when you don’t have the courage

Hi all, hope you’re well.

I just thought I’d blog about something that has literally just happened to me.

Now I just wanna put it out there now, I bloody love the NHS and what it stands for, what they do and how much this country loves it. But sometimes, I’m in disbelief.

I have been suffering with a bite on my leg recently so I went to see the doctors. I don’t like particularly going to the doctors unless it’s an issue I can no longer deal with myself.

I went in and saw a locum doctor, and I’ve never seen this doctor before. When I was going into the room, she was pretty straight faced, kept looking at me up and down and just didn’t really have the rapport the doctors normally do with their patients.

So I sat down and showed her my leg and she was like I don’t know what it is but antibiotics I’ll order them. That was pretty much it. But I had to ask what happens if it bursts, should I cover it, could it get worse? I even showed her a photo I took last night and it was like she didn’t give a damn.

I thought fine, she must be busy I’ll go.

For months now, actually well over 1 year now I have held back in asking when at the doctors about my pcos. Much like cervical screening, I wanted to know if the nhs asks patients how their pcos is doing, whether they feel it is getting worse etc. Pcos can affect your fertility and it’s scary!

I know for a fact that it has got worse, and I think the inner me is super scared that i will never be able to have kids. This was a moment for me, I’ve had this question in my head for all this time, putting it off as you literally can only deal with 1 query at a time (fucking ridiculous).

Anyway I asked, and it was literally like I asked her if I could shit in her mouth. She talked to me like I was a silly little girl, asked why I wanted to know and nothing would come of it if we did ask.

How fucking rude.

And guess what I plucked up my thoughts and said “I’m sorry, but you’ve come across as very rude to me. I am asking a question that is simple and took me some time to ask” and her response “I didn’t think I was ride, why do people keep saying this?”.

As im the type of person to get frustrated, I bloody cry. And I cried!! So embarrassing.

But what, if I was someone who needed mental health help, would she have shot me down do easily?? I was flabbergasted when I left, we shook hands and I was out.

Doctors are amazing people, but honestly just a simple bit of empathy goes such a long way

I’m not just a statistic, I’m a human!!

Sleep paralysis – scary stuff

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We all sleep in different patterns, positions, times and all have different movements throughout your sleep, some may wake up with the slightest noise and others have heavy sleepers, but what if you couldn’t move if you heard or noise or you thought someone was in the room with you. That’s what I have had a number of times in my life.

I have done a bit of research and found that it is linked with sleep paralysis, and dear god do not google the images as its rather scary stuff – well especially if you don’t like horror movies!! Continue reading “Sleep paralysis – scary stuff”

Chill out zone – remember to look after your mental health

Every once in awhile, we just really need to sit back, relax and take our mind elsewhere.

I definitely have those moments and still have them, where I just need to walk away. I do it at work, when I am stressed I take 5 minutes and just stand outside, look up at the sky and remember how minuscule you are in this small world of ours. I think in this quick paced environment we live in nowadays, where anyone can contact you with a press of a button, we do need to take time out for ourselves.

You will see at the top of my blog there is the menu section, if you’re ever feeling this way and just need to chill, hover over the “Chill out zone” link at the top.

What’s in the chill out zone:

Here within this little space of heaven are a number of links that I have found over the years that have really helped me relax. Anxiety attacks are bloody awful, I know. But we only have 1 body, we need to learn to love it more. (If you’re on your mobile, click the menu button on the top and you’ll get the links lovely).

  • Quiet place – take a few minutes out, no music, no distractions and just focus on what you can see
  • Rainy mood – I freaking love the sound of rain, so this always chills me out
  • Do nothing for 2 minutes – what is says on the tin, please just use this if you need a quick fix. But if you don’t do what it says, it’ll take longer, just relax and go with it. It works
  • The thoughts room – don’t know what to do with your thoughts, put them here
  • Intotime – a relaxing interactive colour website
  • Silk – have a play with some interactive silk
  • Headspace– a great website and app to help relax and meditate
  • Calm – a lovely meditation app which helps you fall asleep
  • Emergency compliment – sometimes you just needa pick me up
  • Liquid particles – what it says on the tin, go and play
  • Stress analyst – see how it can help you!
  • Cat noises – meow – for those who feel like they need a cat purring in their life
  • Cute overload – hey who doesn’t love looking at cute animals!!!
  • Mind UK – a great charity, available for you to talk to
  • Young minds – a charity for children and adolescents
  • Time to change – a list of mental health organisations that you can talk to
  • Headspace – a calm environment where you can listen to chilled out relaxing techniques
  • Apps for well-being and mental health – the lovely mind charity have put together a list of wonderful apps for your mobile or tablet for managing your wellbeing and mental health.

✌🏻🖤

Help others:

I am updating this blog post often, and I try to make sure that they all still work haha!

Go and have a look, and if you have any suggestions, please let me know

If you need to talk, please message me either on here, tweet me @loveyouandthem or email me stardustflower89@gmail.com. Even if i help only one person, that’s great.

xo

Having a few down days.

Ever have those days where you just feel like shit? Where you just don’t want to talk to anyone? Where you would rather stay in bed and just hide away?

That’s definitely how I have been feeling lately.

I don’t know where it’s come from, but I just feel so blah. It’s totally not like me.

I know I have been having a lot of shitty times with my health lately, I’ve dealt with obstacles I don’t normally deal with, but I just don’t have the energy to speak to even my best friends. That REALLY isn’t me.

I feel in pain due to my illness, fed up because of it, angered as well with frustration. Not feeling self confident at all, disliking my look at the moment and just want to change.

I understand that there are worse people out there, those who feel sad every day, but I’m just so tired. Also got a banging headache and tinnitus at the moment which just is….amazing.

My blog is often positove, so I’m sorry guys. 

Anyway keep sharing the love.