When I first moved into my flat back in March, I had so many emotions and I still do. I am still finding it hard to process, still trying to juggle financially (hopefully I am getting better) and I am trying to make it all okay for me.
At the start of the whole moving in and then into lockdown, I received a lovely letter from my auntie. I had hid it away until last week, as it caused me to cry a lot and I brought it out again this weekend as she came to visit. She was there when me and my mum were picking out curtains, choosing the rugs, the pillows etc so she has been on this journey with me. Continue reading “A letter that empowers me and makes me cry…”
Feeling better today, still very tired from the moving out. Really encouraged by all of the lovely messages that I have had from my friends.
Said to my mum today that I am ok about moving out but im not happy or excited, I just have no emotion for it at the moment.
Moved quite a lot of stuff into the flat now, and it is starting to feel homely. I still have a sense of “what the fuck have I done?” but I guess that will go over time… i hope.
I will probably be fully moved in by the weekend, so will see what will happen during the week.
Bring it on.
Ps – as you have noticed, the past 2 posts aren’t my usual style but just slightly reverting back to why I made this blog originally and it was to clear my mind.
Well this is a bit different isn’t it?
fyi, this is a super long post… im sorry but also not.
As you may or may not know the past few months in my life have been a bit, bonkers shall we say. It seems that in my life, things happen in a pattern where I have a day of absolute hell, then 3 days later something positive happens.
For example, in 2011 we were on holiday and we received a phone call to state that my lovely Grandad had passed, and 3 days later I got into uni and got the grades I had to get! This year, it unfortunately happened again – my Nan passed away and I got a call I never thought I would receive, from the BBC…
Continue reading “One tweet can change everything.”
Hi my lovelies, I hope that you are well…
I seem to have come full circle as to the purpose of this blog. I first started it many years ago, as I was going through counselling to help me with my grieving of my lovely Nan. I didn’t know what to do with my emotions and how to speak with people, but ever since having this blog and a bit of anonymity via my twitter, I have been able to speak my mind. Now, whether you listen or not is another thing but in my head you are all helping me.
For nearly 1 year now, my lovely other Nan has been deeply unwell with cancer and she took the decision a few months back to state that she did not want any help, and we had to learn to respect that decision – you can read my thoughts about this here – so in my head I have been grieving for sometime now.
Continue reading “I wasn’t ever ready to say goodbye”
Hey lovely people.
I dont think I’ve ever said on here before but in my family at the moment we are currently going through some sad times.
Last year my Nan found out that her cancer had come back for a 3rd time and this time it had spread to her lymph nodes. My nan is a bloody lovely lady and is so sweet, and when I found out it came back it just shook me. I thought she can do this, she has this down as this is her 3rd time. Continue reading “Respect and let go”