Respect and let go

Hey lovely people.

I dont think I’ve ever said on here before but in my family at the moment we are currently going through some sad times.

Last year my Nan found out that her cancer had come back for a 3rd time and this time it had spread to her lymph nodes. My nan is a bloody lovely lady and is so sweet, and when I found out it came back it just shook me. I thought she can do this, she has this down as this is her 3rd time.

But, what happened next shocked me and it’s really made me learn to respect other peoples choices. My parents and my uncle went to the hospital when my nan found out and she turned around to the doctor and said:

I don’t want to have any medication, if the cancer takes me, then I’ve had a great life.

I’ve thought of her saying this so many times in the past year and to have the courage to say she doesn’t want help, made me of course incredibly sad but respect her loads.

My grandad (her husband) passed in 2011 and throughout the last 8 years, she has seen so many of her close friends pass and I think she’s just fed up.

Over the past few months, we have all decided to rotate our calls to my nan just to see how she is. Shes in pain, she is depressed and not eating. I want to help her so much, but she keeps saying that she wants to make memories. I just find this so sad. Her character is changing and its just heartbreaking.

The worst she has ever said is:

Some days I wish that I didnt wake up

To me, I’d love to personally take her to hospital and give her the chemotherapy/ radiotherapy but I can’t. I have to respect her wishes.

So, for me it’s making sure in her time now she has the most lovely memories and is ok as she can be.

But as I’ve said before, if you have grandparents please please please love your grandparents as they will always love you.

PS I want to say the most biggest thank you EVER to all of the people who tweeted me when I asked for advice and charities for the elderly. I honestly couldn’t get over how many people responded.

Anyway, hope everyone is ok

đź’–

Celebrating my 20s – end of an chapter

Hey beauts, I hope that you had a fab Christmas and I hope that you’re still eating all of the cheese and chocolates, whilst drinking a lot of wine.

I’m currently sat writing this whilst watching Cinderella and looking at my phone every 2 minutes as my best friend is going go have a baby any minute!! I’m so excited.

As the year draws to a close, so does my 20s. This time next week i will be 30. Oh god I feel a little bit sick at the thought of it. So as I’m sat watching a Disney movie, I thought I’d reminisce over this last decade, share my favourite memories and lessons I’ve learnt.

Here we go:

Continue reading “Celebrating my 20s – end of an chapter”

Day 5 – music and my emotions

Welcome to day 5, can I say now that I’m already finding this challenge difficult and I’ve got 26 days left. Fuuuck. Lol.

Anyway, music… What an absolute joy. It gets you through the good times, the break ups, love, happiness and the sad times. Music can make you dance in so many ways, give you confidence and can also make so many memories.

This is a long post… sorry. I have missed out film scores as I could go on.

Ps if you see an image it will link to a video where you can listen to the music

Continue reading “Day 5 – music and my emotions”

Day 4 – it’s ok to cry sometimes you know


We are all human, sometimes we need to take a step back and just think to yourself YOU CAN DO THIS!!!

We are not all born to be strong, but I tell you what the little strength we have together is a force to not be messed with! No one is alone in this world, no one should be alone in this world. We all have different emotions daily and not one person will experience the same day or the same emotions, but we can share our stories. It may be that no one has felt what you’re going through, but someone is there to land a hand…

So what I am trying to say is, if you want to cry – bloody cry!!!!!! It is not shameful to cry, it is not embarrassing to cry (just don’t do it everyday). Continue reading “Day 4 – it’s ok to cry sometimes you know”

Respect and love – tough post to write.

hi all.

Really strange post for me today and I’ve been putting it off for sometime, as it’s taken me quite a while to process.

Family means everything to me. My family is a small family made up of myself, my brother and my parents. On the one side of the family we are super close and the other side, like most families we simply do not talk. Family to me is not just blood but it’s who is there for you, who is there for you to pick up the pieces when you’re feeling down or when you’re celebrating.

But this post is all about my blood family, especially my nan.

Continue reading “Respect and love – tough post to write.”