Drunken thoughts, sober ❤

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So, on Friday I had a number of drinks after as you may know due to my previous post and my god I felt rubbish the next day. Not only did I “tipsy text” someone I was not meant to, I also text someone just to get attention and then I finally had a conversation with one of my best friends I had never really spoke about before.

I am really not an open book at all, many would get frustrated that I don’t say how I feel but it did feel very good to get it all out in the open. Basically it was to do with being surrounded by couples all around town and I just felt absolutely lonely, I felt rubbish. To the point I actually wanted to go back in the pub and drink on my own. I then imagined my life later, surrounded by animals in a small flat, weighing in at around 25 stone and just wishing to drink whilst having the greasiest hair.

That’s why I text my friend just to off load, of course she text me the next day with a little joke but I do think she was a bit concerned about me as like I say I don’t often say what I feel in these times.

I really find myself frustrating so much at times. I hate those thoughts especially after a great night out, it always ruins it.

Anyway else feel like this?


Jealous girls.

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I cannot begin to tell you how jealous girls annoy me, it’s not the beauty, it’s not the clothes, it’s not the make up, it is the friendship.

In my life I have had a number of boy best friends go from my life, all because of over controlling girlfriends. Some I have gotten to like but only because I have had to put so much effort into it and I feel so fake.

I do not know how insecure you have to feel about yourself and how much non trust you have in your boyfriend to be jealous of their girl best friend or even just friend/peer. One of the reasons as to my moan today is of a boy (he is mid 20’s but the way he is acted im saying boy as to be honest that’s all he is now).

This boy I have known due to my previous work and we got close as friends and used to talk all the time, opening up and helping each other out with advice etc. Nothing relationships or feelings between the pair of us at all. One night I was in a club and my Dad had an awful accident and he knew of this, in which he came and gave me a hug (as you do as friends).

As soon as he gave me a hug – the girlfriend spotted this and gave me the worst look ever. I thought no I am going to be adult about this and explain but she wasnt having any of it, okay I was slightly fake in saying she looked nice etc but that’s because I hate confrontation.

Anyway – 1 week later, he was deleted off my Facebook, he didn’t reply to any texts and he didn’t even look at me at work. Just gone. I was leaving work to go onto another company at this point and I thought I just couldn’t be bothered.

If we were on nights out with mutual friends, she would constantly watch me, drag him away from me, turn his head and would never leave his side. I had literally done nothing wrong. They split up about 5/6 months down the line and he messaged me saying I can’t believe how I was etc.. I am often a forgive but never forget.

2 weeks later they’re back together and yet again I am deleted.

This went on for over a year and a half. 1 month ago he added me on Facebook, I accepted only to have a go at him. He’s so much older than her, he has lost friends, family and respect from so many people and he agreed, he was slagging her off left, right and centre saying that he fell out of love. Yet again, 1 week later I cannot find him anyway. I go to check her Facebook – hey presto they’re back together.

I am no longer friends with him, I cannot put up with a pathetic excuse of a man.

If any girl is going to lead your life, dictate as to what you do, who to speak, look at, talk to then you need to grow a pair of f*cking balls. That does go for boys doing that for girls as well.

God I hate people like this, maybe I am just too relaxed.

Grr, anyone else feel this?