Judge Judge Body Image Judge Judge – Be You.

bodyimageWe all have hang ups, we all have body confident days and we are all judge every single day. No matter what you think we are all being judged and we judge others as well, as much as you try not too – you may judge to be positive or negative. Now my favourite song at the moment is Meghan Trainor’s All About That Bass, which celebrates being “curvy” and being body confident. I know as a “curvy/fuller figured” girl that I was highly pissed off on X Factor, when a thinner girl with killer abs was singing the lyrics. But only because I am proud to have a “bit of meat” on me. It did get me thinking, there are so many photos that say “curvy is what the man wants”, curves etc are all a man needs……… but seriously ladies – be you, be proud of who you are and don’t aim to change your body for a man, or a girl hehe.

I logged onto Facebook earlier and saw my best friend had posted this status and I was like You go girl. She is the opposite to me, has the most (in my eyes) the amazing figure. She said this:

“So apparently a ‘real woman’ supposedly according to much of society is a lady who is curvaceous and of a larger size? What about those who may be smaller than the national average clothes size of 12/14 does that make us not ‘real women?’ Not considered as feminine because we may be lacking in a few extra pounds? No we are all women whether you’re big, small, round or tall. I’m all for equality and acceptance no matter of your appearance and embracing our inner beauty and confidence because that’s what it’s all about, but we’re still not there yet. Since when is it ok for larger girls to make smaller girls feel inferior by referring to them in such a belittling context, because I guarantee you if a parade of skinny girls sauntered about declaring themselves as ‘real women’ and celebrating their smaller frame over other sizes there would be uproar! It’s wrong we are all women together and should never make one size seem more or less than another. And as for that song ‘all about that bass’ it is not ok to refer to people as ‘skinny bitches!’ It is no different to calling people ‘fat bitches’ both are so wrong. Celebrate all sizes without needing to single out or put down a certain appearance in the process and claiming its shameful to look that way. We are ALL beautiful majestic and mysterious creatures. Rock on bitches ‪#‎spreadkindnessnotjudgement‬

I just thought, wow that is so true. Who am I to think that because the media represent girls having the perfect figure with curves etc that is what the person that I desire wants. Who am I to judge another girl in having a “bigger body” or be jealous of a “thinner body”. Imagine if we were all the same, imagine if we all were bigger girls or smaller girls. That would be absolutely boring and dull. Everyone has tastes, whether it be you like a blonde person, brunette, auburn, red hair, white hair, black skin, asian, indian, black,covered in tattoos, piercings, short, tall etc….. in the end……………. we all shit, cry, are sick, blink and breathe together. Hahaha!!

I know full well that I judge girls and I absolutely shouldnt, I should feel comfortable in my own skin. But I believe that it is also jealousy, I am jealous that they have their figure, that hair, those boobs etc – but at the end of the day, there’s nothing wrong with me. I am not unwell, I can walk, talk, see, hear, breathe… I am now changing my perspective to – ‘as long as I am happy, who gives a shit as to what I look like, the people that care are going to stay and the people that don’t, they’re not worth your time’

I saw Zoella and Louise speak about this previously and to put it into perspective, I am Louise and my friend is Zoe. LOL and I could absolutely see what they were talking about. Have a look at this – click on the photo 🙂

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Anyway after such a shit day, I found this photo and I thought I had to share it because it’s just so true. I have previously spoken about this topic before and you can read about this here  and a girl power post.

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Finally my friend had mentioned previously the “kind campaign”. Please have a look at their website, it’s all about girls being kind to each other especially at school, because its one of the toughest times for a girl, the hormones, the fake friends, the bullies and of course peer pressure. Here’s their website.  It’s also a great website to gain information and background for help on feeling great and having that confidence. 

Let’s stick together girls.

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Scars are individual lines of our own storybook.

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Before I start on this blog, I just wish to state that this blog is not about self harm. If you need any help in that way or wish to speak to someone here are some numbers, websites, addresses that you should visit… keep smiling, it’s one bad day not one bad life 🙂 ❤

CLICK HERE FOR SMILES FOR THE FUTURE

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As a clumsy girl I was forever falling over at Uni and stupidly because I am very lazy I used to always go over the green to my flat instead of going on the safe pavement, but nooooooo I decided the slippery muddy grassy slope would be best. Anyway, one day I ended up falling and going onto my left side, I thought shit that hurt and went quickly back to my bedroom. 30 minutes later I had a lecture and as I was sat there my classmates said “your arm is going purple”….. it was. I was so freaked out, I couldn’t feel a thing, it was so heavy and a dead like feeling and I was just really worried. I booked an appointment with the doctor and they said it was whiplash. Months later whilst at my job (on the checkouts) it kept happening again, the dead weight feeling, purple arm and the motion that I could not feel a thing in this arm.

I was then sent to specialists and in the end we went private because it was getting worse, I therefore was sent to a specialist and they did many tests on me. I had things put in me, xrays, mri scans and so many things I cant even remember. In the end I was actually put upside down to see where my blood went, they actually found out there was a compression with my nerve/blood and bone in my neck.

As soon as my left arm was raised not even 45 degree angle, the blood stopped going to my arm and was slowing down my heart. Bloody scary, usually with this condition you are offered physiotherapy first of all but nope, me it was straight for a booking for surgery.

The condition is called Thoracic Outlet Syndrome, I apparently have had it all my life but the falls triggered it. Many sports stars have this. After my operation, it literally felt like my head was so floppy and not attached properly. Very weird and I was left with two scars, they went in and cut back the muscle to stop any compression between the blood/nerves and bone. For months after I hated my scars, after the hospital took away their bits I was left with what I saw and I hate it. I still hate it to this day. My scars have not healed properly:

IMG_0725Here are my scars. This was about 8 months after and my scars are still like this 3 years later. They cannot change them because of the scar tissue, I still to this day get looks. The scars are very raised and lumpy and they are not going down, I hate even myself touching them and I do not let anyone else touch them. There were some days in which I would be walking down the street and people would physically just stare, its not like I have tried to self harm (no offence!!) and hurt myself in that way, but thats how I felt. I felt that I was being judged. On nights out I went home early because I couldn’t cope with the looking. Halloween was my best night as I could really dress it up. But when it got to the stage where it was not just me that was noticing people staring, it was my friends as well. Some even had a go at people staring, I then thought to myself – you can either do two things here…….. think fuck it, this is my life, my body, I was very unwell or feel forever judged. I thought fuck it. 

Like I said to this day, if I am feeling down I will wear a scarf and still people in my office are noticing them and I have to explain each time but I really don’t mind people asking me. I would prefer people to ask me than to just stare. This has definitely opened up my eyes to other people’s lives, other people’s difficulties, disabilities and looks.

Do not ever judge a book by it’s cover. I urge you.

Of course we all have scars, whether mentally or physically. Whether it be through abuse (I really hope not and big hugs to you), stretch marks (having a baby or big curvalicious) or even just doing silly things like falling over – each scar is unique, each scar tells a story and that story is a chapter of your life. That chapter makes you, do not be ashamed of that chapter, you have had to grow through it and you have come out of it. Please check out this link for any helpline numbers where you livedo not feel alone – 

I still have pain every day from this, although I can now raise my arm and it doesn’t go purple yay lol… it still affects me. We all walk in different paths, we all have different lives. But in the end, we are all unique but we are all unique together. We must accept others as we wish to be accepted ourselves.

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