Him.

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I don’t know whether it is just me, I am sure it’s not but I can’t stop thinking about one boy. He is my one regret. Every night now for hours I havent been able to sleep because all I can do is think of him.

We used to be so close, to the point everyone wanted us to be together. One night we got very drunk and went to a different club and had a great night, just the 1 kiss.

I was seeing another guy at the time (NOT IN A RELATIONSHIP, literally 1 date!) and at the time I preferred this other guy. My friend H kept texting me saying he wishes there were more kisses etc (this was a few years ago). I started seeing this other boy, yes I now feel like an absolute twat. H phoned me out of the blue months later out with his girlfriend C and I said you should go talk to her, but again “I would prefer to talk to you”, each time something bad happens in his life he texts me. I said I didn’t have feelings for him because, okay have you seen the movie No Strings Attached, I cannot put into words how much this clip is my love life:

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Each time someone likes me and I did it with the guy I was dating as well, I find all the negative points about them and back myself away from that person. I don’t know whether its my exes fault because they all just dumped me with no reason because I thought they were great and nothing went wrong (in my eyes), I am just so scared.

So I am currently sat here alone feeling very sorry for myself, hating being single. Hating that I have now been single for 6 years. Hating that H is with C because I know and have been told by the person H told this too that he still really likes me. I am no way going to split up a relationship, back in November he tried to kiss me (he was extremely drunk), there’s always been that connection with me and him. But I know if I started dating him I would do this. If this C wasnt so horrible to me on this night out and didn’t make me cry because of the way she acted towards me, I don’t know if I would feel different.

Maybe I am just missing him as a friend, because he never responds to any texts now ie “hi how are you” (these texts are sent 1x every 2 months)

I just………….. im so fucked. Really sad post, I can’t get out my frustrations there are more.

I have tried online dating, but as soon as someone tries to talk to me, im like nope thats it – deleting the account lol.

Help 😦

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Jealousy is a horrible trait girls.

I am sure that boys/men lol the opposite sex lets say do not often get jealous, I am sure they do but not as much as girls/women. Okay for the blog purpose it’ll be girls and boys can’t be dealing with all the faff of the lovely “/” symbol.

Jealousy is a horrible trait, it can make you feel shit about yourself, it can make you want to change yourself when you should accept yourself and it can also make you lose friends, gain fake friends and also make enemies.

There are different types of jealousy good and bad of course:

The Work – I am jealous of their promotion, I am jealous of the way they work, I am jealous of the money that they receive and I am jealous of their lifestyle that comes with their job. OF course some of these can also play a big part in pushing yourself forward to gain that promotion, to learn new skills etc – but if it starts to take over your life and changes the way your out of work lifestyle will be, take a sit back, relax and think what do you deserve more and what makes you happy.

The Relationship – Whether it will be the ex partner and you’re jealous of the new partner of them, or whether you are jealous of other relationships because you are the single one, or you’re in an unhappy relationship – this will always bring issues. I personally cannot stand girls in relationships who are jealous of their partners “girl” friends, they are the worst type, when they are insecure little girls. Use the positives to any advantages though, if you’re not happy in a relationship then see why you are unhappy and chose what to do about that.

The Friendship – This can be if someone is more popular than you, they could be getting more attention or again their lifestyle (you cannot keep up with their spending money, days out etc). I have been in the position of the jealous friend, we were a threesome of friends and this one particular girl just turned on me because me and the other girl were getting closer but that’s only because of circumstances. It made for awful days at school (but then again school can be the worst place for friendships – friendships aren’t often carried through life from school). If you do become in these situations truly think who your true friends are.

Life & comparisons – I am bigger than that girl, I am smaller than that girl, I have awful fashion sense compared, she is prettier than me, I have less money etc etc. You will get to the stage of jealousy in which you feel uncomfortable about yourself and you will feel weaker and there is no need to do that. You are you, you are beautiful and you are precious, individual and were put on this earth to not be a copy cat.

Jealous girls.

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I cannot begin to tell you how jealous girls annoy me, it’s not the beauty, it’s not the clothes, it’s not the make up, it is the friendship.

In my life I have had a number of boy best friends go from my life, all because of over controlling girlfriends. Some I have gotten to like but only because I have had to put so much effort into it and I feel so fake.

I do not know how insecure you have to feel about yourself and how much non trust you have in your boyfriend to be jealous of their girl best friend or even just friend/peer. One of the reasons as to my moan today is of a boy (he is mid 20’s but the way he is acted im saying boy as to be honest that’s all he is now).

This boy I have known due to my previous work and we got close as friends and used to talk all the time, opening up and helping each other out with advice etc. Nothing relationships or feelings between the pair of us at all. One night I was in a club and my Dad had an awful accident and he knew of this, in which he came and gave me a hug (as you do as friends).

As soon as he gave me a hug – the girlfriend spotted this and gave me the worst look ever. I thought no I am going to be adult about this and explain but she wasnt having any of it, okay I was slightly fake in saying she looked nice etc but that’s because I hate confrontation.

Anyway – 1 week later, he was deleted off my Facebook, he didn’t reply to any texts and he didn’t even look at me at work. Just gone. I was leaving work to go onto another company at this point and I thought I just couldn’t be bothered.

If we were on nights out with mutual friends, she would constantly watch me, drag him away from me, turn his head and would never leave his side. I had literally done nothing wrong. They split up about 5/6 months down the line and he messaged me saying I can’t believe how I was etc.. I am often a forgive but never forget.

2 weeks later they’re back together and yet again I am deleted.

This went on for over a year and a half. 1 month ago he added me on Facebook, I accepted only to have a go at him. He’s so much older than her, he has lost friends, family and respect from so many people and he agreed, he was slagging her off left, right and centre saying that he fell out of love. Yet again, 1 week later I cannot find him anyway. I go to check her Facebook – hey presto they’re back together.

I am no longer friends with him, I cannot put up with a pathetic excuse of a man.

If any girl is going to lead your life, dictate as to what you do, who to speak, look at, talk to then you need to grow a pair of f*cking balls. That does go for boys doing that for girls as well.

God I hate people like this, maybe I am just too relaxed.

Grr, anyone else feel this?

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