Respect and let go

Hey lovely people.

I dont think I’ve ever said on here before but in my family at the moment we are currently going through some sad times.

Last year my Nan found out that her cancer had come back for a 3rd time and this time it had spread to her lymph nodes. My nan is a bloody lovely lady and is so sweet, and when I found out it came back it just shook me. I thought she can do this, she has this down as this is her 3rd time.

But, what happened next shocked me and it’s really made me learn to respect other peoples choices. My parents and my uncle went to the hospital when my nan found out and she turned around to the doctor and said:

I don’t want to have any medication, if the cancer takes me, then I’ve had a great life.

I’ve thought of her saying this so many times in the past year and to have the courage to say she doesn’t want help, made me of course incredibly sad but respect her loads.

My grandad (her husband) passed in 2011 and throughout the last 8 years, she has seen so many of her close friends pass and I think she’s just fed up.

Over the past few months, we have all decided to rotate our calls to my nan just to see how she is. Shes in pain, she is depressed and not eating. I want to help her so much, but she keeps saying that she wants to make memories. I just find this so sad. Her character is changing and its just heartbreaking.

The worst she has ever said is:

Some days I wish that I didnt wake up

To me, I’d love to personally take her to hospital and give her the chemotherapy/ radiotherapy but I can’t. I have to respect her wishes.

So, for me it’s making sure in her time now she has the most lovely memories and is ok as she can be.

But as I’ve said before, if you have grandparents please please please love your grandparents as they will always love you.

PS I want to say the most biggest thank you EVER to all of the people who tweeted me when I asked for advice and charities for the elderly. I honestly couldn’t get over how many people responded.

Anyway, hope everyone is ok

💖

Celebrating my 20s – end of an chapter

Hey beauts, I hope that you had a fab Christmas and I hope that you’re still eating all of the cheese and chocolates, whilst drinking a lot of wine.

I’m currently sat writing this whilst watching Cinderella and looking at my phone every 2 minutes as my best friend is going go have a baby any minute!! I’m so excited.

As the year draws to a close, so does my 20s. This time next week i will be 30. Oh god I feel a little bit sick at the thought of it. So as I’m sat watching a Disney movie, I thought I’d reminisce over this last decade, share my favourite memories and lessons I’ve learnt.

Here we go:

Continue reading “Celebrating my 20s – end of an chapter”

Don’t forget to say I love you, everyday. 

We are so busy nowadays, with the pressures of work, having the best fashion, looks, the best body and the perfect relationships that we forget about those people who love us no matter what.

No matter where you have gone in your life, where you’re going and what you want to do, your grandparents are there to support you.  They’re there to teach you, to guide you and of course love you unconditionally.

But what we often forget, we forget that as much as we are growing up, they are growing older by the day. Continue reading “Don’t forget to say I love you, everyday. “

Why do I fear being in a relationship?

So, this is a post that I have been putting off writing for years, and I literally mean years. I’m hoping that by writing it, it will clear away so many thoughts in my head, or even just some weight off my shoulders.

I suck at relationships/ people liking me.

There I said it. I’m so bored of it. I thought I would write down all of the thoughts in my head… here we go: Continue reading “Why do I fear being in a relationship?”