Respect and let go

Hey lovely people.

I dont think I’ve ever said on here before but in my family at the moment we are currently going through some sad times.

Last year my Nan found out that her cancer had come back for a 3rd time and this time it had spread to her lymph nodes. My nan is a bloody lovely lady and is so sweet, and when I found out it came back it just shook me. I thought she can do this, she has this down as this is her 3rd time.

But, what happened next shocked me and it’s really made me learn to respect other peoples choices. My parents and my uncle went to the hospital when my nan found out and she turned around to the doctor and said:

I don’t want to have any medication, if the cancer takes me, then I’ve had a great life.

I’ve thought of her saying this so many times in the past year and to have the courage to say she doesn’t want help, made me of course incredibly sad but respect her loads.

My grandad (her husband) passed in 2011 and throughout the last 8 years, she has seen so many of her close friends pass and I think she’s just fed up.

Over the past few months, we have all decided to rotate our calls to my nan just to see how she is. Shes in pain, she is depressed and not eating. I want to help her so much, but she keeps saying that she wants to make memories. I just find this so sad. Her character is changing and its just heartbreaking.

The worst she has ever said is:

Some days I wish that I didnt wake up

To me, I’d love to personally take her to hospital and give her the chemotherapy/ radiotherapy but I can’t. I have to respect her wishes.

So, for me it’s making sure in her time now she has the most lovely memories and is ok as she can be.

But as I’ve said before, if you have grandparents please please please love your grandparents as they will always love you.

PS I want to say the most biggest thank you EVER to all of the people who tweeted me when I asked for advice and charities for the elderly. I honestly couldn’t get over how many people responded.

Anyway, hope everyone is ok

💖

Don’t forget to say I love you, everyday. 

We are so busy nowadays, with the pressures of work, having the best fashion, looks, the best body and the perfect relationships that we forget about those people who love us no matter what.

No matter where you have gone in your life, where you’re going and what you want to do, your grandparents are there to support you.  They’re there to teach you, to guide you and of course love you unconditionally.

But what we often forget, we forget that as much as we are growing up, they are growing older by the day. Continue reading “Don’t forget to say I love you, everyday. “

Day 8 blogging challenge: Someone you miss

Thank you so far by the way to be sticking with me and my 30 day challenge. I know the last blog gas touched accord with many people, I hope that it’s helped just one person.

Today’s post is all about who I miss. I find it very hard to let go of someone when they go out of my life, whether through location reasons, end of a friendship, relationship or passing on.

But this was the easiest blog post to write, as I still think about this person everyday.

Here we go!: Continue reading “Day 8 blogging challenge: Someone you miss”

Love your Grandparents.

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I am writing this post really openly from the heart, over the next few days will be the 3rd anniversary of my Nan’s death. My Nan was my absolute world, she was there for me when I was down, when I was happy and looked after me when I was young. She was and still is in my eyes one of my favourite people ever. She would always brighten up the room and was loved by many.

My nan was a strong independent funny lady and when we found out a few days before her birthday that she had oesophagus cancer my world turned and flipped upside down. Her decline was quick and she passed away within 3 months.

I to this day remember the heartbreak that I suffered, my Mum and Dad were visiting her in hospital over a number of days. I had seen her before Christmas and she was very jolly and joking with me as much as I remember her, the last time I spoke to her was on the telephone were she demanded I got her out of hospital. I felt awful that I couldn’t help but I knew she was in the best place. Anyway, my parents had come back to pick up some things, and literally as soon as they got in  they received a phone call saying you will need to come back – we live 2 and a half hours away from the hospital. Unfortunately she passed away half an hour before my mum could see her.

I was at home alone and my Dad rang me, I cant even remember what he told me but I just remember crying and screaming, whilst falling to my knees.. I had never felt anything like it before. I couldn’t breathe properly and all I wanted was for someone to hug me. My mums best friend had been informed beforehand and she was driving around to see me, as soon as she saw me she came running up to me and gave me the biggest hug. This day is rarely talked about in my family. I had to tell my brother straight away so we went around to his work place, he was serving and all I did was just go into the work place and he ran towards me. I didn’t say anything he knew.

Absolutely horrible feeling & I want to forget the day but I cannot.

My Grampa passed away when I was 9 and I cannot remember much and my other Grandfather passed away through cancer whilst the family were on holiday. Another horrible evening.

The moral of this story is, please for the love of god and

I cannot express into words how much you should care and love your grandparents as they’re not here forever, they can be your best friend, your support and they will always love you. Look after them as they looked after you.

Sorry that this is such a sad post but I thought I would have to write it.

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