Speak up when you don’t have the courage

Hi all, hope you’re well.

I just thought I’d blog about something that has literally just happened to me.

Now I just wanna put it out there now, I bloody love the NHS and what it stands for, what they do and how much this country loves it. But sometimes, I’m in disbelief.

I have been suffering with a bite on my leg recently so I went to see the doctors. I don’t like particularly going to the doctors unless it’s an issue I can no longer deal with myself.

I went in and saw a locum doctor, and I’ve never seen this doctor before. When I was going into the room, she was pretty straight faced, kept looking at me up and down and just didn’t really have the rapport the doctors normally do with their patients.

So I sat down and showed her my leg and she was like I don’t know what it is but antibiotics I’ll order them. That was pretty much it. But I had to ask what happens if it bursts, should I cover it, could it get worse? I even showed her a photo I took last night and it was like she didn’t give a damn.

I thought fine, she must be busy I’ll go.

For months now, actually well over 1 year now I have held back in asking when at the doctors about my pcos. Much like cervical screening, I wanted to know if the nhs asks patients how their pcos is doing, whether they feel it is getting worse etc. Pcos can affect your fertility and it’s scary!

I know for a fact that it has got worse, and I think the inner me is super scared that i will never be able to have kids. This was a moment for me, I’ve had this question in my head for all this time, putting it off as you literally can only deal with 1 query at a time (fucking ridiculous).

Anyway I asked, and it was literally like I asked her if I could shit in her mouth. She talked to me like I was a silly little girl, asked why I wanted to know and nothing would come of it if we did ask.

How fucking rude.

And guess what I plucked up my thoughts and said “I’m sorry, but you’ve come across as very rude to me. I am asking a question that is simple and took me some time to ask” and her response “I didn’t think I was ride, why do people keep saying this?”.

As im the type of person to get frustrated, I bloody cry. And I cried!! So embarrassing.

But what, if I was someone who needed mental health help, would she have shot me down do easily?? I was flabbergasted when I left, we shook hands and I was out.

Doctors are amazing people, but honestly just a simple bit of empathy goes such a long way

I’m not just a statistic, I’m a human!!