My Day – 16*04*2014

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Hello lovely lot! I hope that you are well, if you are a follower//reader of this strange blog then you will know that I have not been well for the past 3 weeks and have been off sick. Today I took the day off work after being back 1 day (yes I know) for a whole day of seeing medics. I am mentally and physically exhausted, and I need to have a breakdown somewhere – so I thought where is best – my blog.

My day started off this morning feeling absolutely sick, I have the beaut that is IBS so I was constantly feeling sick and just wanting to be around a toilet lol I was on edge. Today my day was 11:10 – doctors for blood tests for my back – 11:45 – interview for a new job in a clinic – 3 – first physio appointment for my back. As you can see it is a proper medical day including an interview in a medical place 😛

Anyway, I was running late due to feeling shit with my nerves for the interview – I knew that my Doctors are absolutely crap for being on time and it’s cutting it fine with the time difference. The nurse was 10 minutes late, my legs were starting to shake. Got in there and she said did the Doctor tell you that this is a fasting blood test……

I think my face said it all, I love this Nurse she literally says how she and the patients feel. I said I highly disliked the Dr I saw, he never said anything about that – he was more interested in fixing his computer, he took calls and never apologised for taking them and was fixated on my neck in which I have had an operation for than my back. Rant out of the way, NHS Doctors can sometimes be amazing such as other Dr who reads up on your previous notes and knows your background before you see her! Amaaaazing!! Anyway, as soon as I said that I had an interview within the next 10 minutes, I don’t think she or anyone has ever found my vein so quickly – I must have been mega stressed!! My bruise is huge though, not the best thing as it looks like I have had a punch up on my elbow!! Luckily I had not had any food for 12 hours so phew as well, that’s happened before as well!)

Came out seeing the nurse and my mum was faffing about OMG you have a hole in your skirt, you can’t go to the interview like that!! (btw my mum took me because I can’t drive at the moment because of meds, not because im 12! ), she was stressing me out more than the interview and I know I know she was just being motherly. So I hike up the tights until I am not breathing and the hole is covered by my dress, there’s always girls haha!

Got to the location and the interview email said go to the reception……….. there was 2 receptions. I was like again:

 

Which one do I go in.. Podiatry or Childrens Services, my brain thought (you’ve lived with 3 podiatrists go there you’ll be safe) haha yes that’s what my brain thought. Sat down and the lady said take a seat, I was 5 minutes early. TWENTY MINUTES LATER this lady comes up to me and said “you don’t look very happy” and my reply was haha “I’ve been sat here waiting for some time for an interview” her response “oh, god we thought you didn’t turn up you were meant to go to the other entrance”………

So with a fake smile, I went with the board of directors to the interview and sat down and met up with the manager of the department. I was told to do two typing exercises, one to write up a letter which the header was already in place and another to put dealings in urgent orders etc. Anyway, go onto the computer and the previous applicants letter was on the template. The lady took over and spent another 10 minutes on the computer trying to fix it, in the end I was helping her out! Finally sat down did the letter and I was weirdly addressing it to the company I work for now!! Whaaaaaaaaaaat. Next was the interview stage, in front of 3 people (the lovely manager who I met first, the lady who I was with flipped personalities lol and a young lady) and the questions came at me galore. I felt comfortable then she asked me……. how would you define Diversity in a work place? I was like FUCK, all that was going through my head was:

(btw not my post, so gorgeously tacky) but yes all I could think of was Ashley Banjo and how gorgeous he is in Diversity. I just completely went blank and it was so embarrassing. Ending up at the end making a point of going out the “correct door” and I was on my way. The job itself is an admin role for children’s services and I will be told in the next 2 days, I am still humming and harring about it. I really want to get out of my job, but whilst I was waiting 20 minutes, all I could hear was the other staff slagging off the fact that they are recruiting new staff. Really not the best thing you need to hear before an interview.

So time passed – Morrisons – Lunch – by the time I got back it was off again to physio……. I am used to physio with my shoulder/neck situation and was met by this lovely lady who did a lot of tests on me. It turns out I have the same disability as my brother – Hypermobility. I am hyper mobile in which my muscles etc over flex and my body should not be doing that, so I have a lot of exercises to do, but basically it’s gonna take me a long time to get better.

I don’t know about anyone else but does anyone else always have just the one side of my body that goes wrong, mine is always my left. It’s only been my right once in my life and thats because someone STOOD on my wrist in a game on netball.

Anyway, I sat back in the car…. after feeling absolutely probed, mentally and physically. I am exhausted from today. I feel fine about the hypermobility as my brother has it and I am used to what he goes through, knew it was hereditary. But it’s just another thing to add to the list which is wrong with me.

So an apple a day keeps the Doctor away and I hope I don’t feel this ill again in a long time.

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Employers WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME!! :(

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Everyday now for about 4 months I come in from work, of course have a relaxation time and then I get into the job hunting. I normally spend 2-3 hours sometimes maybe more than that hunting jobs. I seriously think now I am suffering from anxiety and stress because of not only the job I am in now but also looking for a job.

I have mentioned on here previously of job interviews I have gone for, employers who have approached me and vice versa. It’s not that literally there is nothing there, but its just so hard and its so demotivating.

I am looking on every site that I can think of, I am also looking at jobs that I am not THAT interested in but it will just give me something else to put my brain and mind towards. I am now looking for a job in which I am not timed to the second for how long I go to the toilet…… yes it’s that bad. Other things if you are a second late from your break etc, I can see all my friends on Facebook for example going to meetings in restaurants in their lunch breaks, having team days outs, their own work environment and it just looks like it is not work – it’s something that they enjoy!

I to this point have looked into of course marketing (As that is what my degree is in), but also educational, charity, administration, retail etc. I am just tempted at the moment to take back up a supermarket job as I did enjoy that but I wanted more out of life, which I thought I was getting.

I know I know that I cannot moan at all due to the fact I actually have a full time job (which is really great in the environment at the moment), but when you are being constantly judged by someone you don’t know over the phone, being yelled at (btw when we put you on hold, we can hear you!) not getting many thank yous, praise is only for the management – you literally just feel so shit.

My friend has just left my job and she said she can’t believe that she can come in any time of the day she wants, if she is 5 minutes late – SO WHAT?! this is the same company by the way just a different department. She doesn’t have to think how long she is going to the toilet for lol little things like that, but it does really make you think.

I know again that I should feel very positive in that I do have a job, I have money coming in etc. Mentally I am drained, I am getting unwell and I just don’t want it anymore.

I am looking for jobs, I want a full time job (not part time, not flexi time, not maternity and not a sales job meeting targets so the business does not have to pay you the full amount you should be getting) A simple job, good wage (£16,000+ is all good) and a relaxed atmosphere.

Is it that hard? Just come to the end of my tether now. I haven given myself a headache haha oh dear!

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