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Everyday now for about 4 months I come in from work, of course have a relaxation time and then I get into the job hunting. I normally spend 2-3 hours sometimes maybe more than that hunting jobs. I seriously think now I am suffering from anxiety and stress because of not only the job I am in now but also looking for a job.

I have mentioned on here previously of job interviews I have gone for, employers who have approached me and vice versa. It’s not that literally there is nothing there, but its just so hard and its so demotivating.

I am looking on every site that I can think of, I am also looking at jobs that I am not THAT interested in but it will just give me something else to put my brain and mind towards. I am now looking for a job in which I am not timed to the second for how long I go to the toilet…… yes it’s that bad. Other things if you are a second late from your break etc, I can see all my friends on Facebook for example going to meetings in restaurants in their lunch breaks, having team days outs, their own work environment and it just looks like it is not work – it’s something that they enjoy!

I to this point have looked into of course marketing (As that is what my degree is in), but also educational, charity, administration, retail etc. I am just tempted at the moment to take back up a supermarket job as I did enjoy that but I wanted more out of life, which I thought I was getting.

I know I know that I cannot moan at all due to the fact I actually have a full time job (which is really great in the environment at the moment), but when you are being constantly judged by someone you don’t know over the phone, being yelled at (btw when we put you on hold, we can hear you!) not getting many thank yous, praise is only for the management – you literally just feel so shit.

My friend has just left my job and she said she can’t believe that she can come in any time of the day she wants, if she is 5 minutes late – SO WHAT?! this is the same company by the way just a different department. She doesn’t have to think how long she is going to the toilet for lol little things like that, but it does really make you think.

I know again that I should feel very positive in that I do have a job, I have money coming in etc. Mentally I am drained, I am getting unwell and I just don’t want it anymore.

I am looking for jobs, I want a full time job (not part time, not flexi time, not maternity and not a sales job meeting targets so the business does not have to pay you the full amount you should be getting) A simple job, good wage (£16,000+ is all good) and a relaxed atmosphere.

Is it that hard? Just come to the end of my tether now. I haven given myself a headache haha oh dear!


Jealousy is a horrible trait girls.

I am sure that boys/men lol the opposite sex lets say do not often get jealous, I am sure they do but not as much as girls/women. Okay for the blog purpose it’ll be girls and boys can’t be dealing with all the faff of the lovely “/” symbol.

Jealousy is a horrible trait, it can make you feel shit about yourself, it can make you want to change yourself when you should accept yourself and it can also make you lose friends, gain fake friends and also make enemies.

There are different types of jealousy good and bad of course:

The Work – I am jealous of their promotion, I am jealous of the way they work, I am jealous of the money that they receive and I am jealous of their lifestyle that comes with their job. OF course some of these can also play a big part in pushing yourself forward to gain that promotion, to learn new skills etc – but if it starts to take over your life and changes the way your out of work lifestyle will be, take a sit back, relax and think what do you deserve more and what makes you happy.

The Relationship – Whether it will be the ex partner and you’re jealous of the new partner of them, or whether you are jealous of other relationships because you are the single one, or you’re in an unhappy relationship – this will always bring issues. I personally cannot stand girls in relationships who are jealous of their partners “girl” friends, they are the worst type, when they are insecure little girls. Use the positives to any advantages though, if you’re not happy in a relationship then see why you are unhappy and chose what to do about that.

The Friendship – This can be if someone is more popular than you, they could be getting more attention or again their lifestyle (you cannot keep up with their spending money, days out etc). I have been in the position of the jealous friend, we were a threesome of friends and this one particular girl just turned on me because me and the other girl were getting closer but that’s only because of circumstances. It made for awful days at school (but then again school can be the worst place for friendships – friendships aren’t often carried through life from school). If you do become in these situations truly think who your true friends are.

Life & comparisons – I am bigger than that girl, I am smaller than that girl, I have awful fashion sense compared, she is prettier than me, I have less money etc etc. You will get to the stage of jealousy in which you feel uncomfortable about yourself and you will feel weaker and there is no need to do that. You are you, you are beautiful and you are precious, individual and were put on this earth to not be a copy cat.

Who is the real you?

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We all know that we all have different personalities and I am true testament on that. For example I will never say my name on here because I want to say things on my blog that not many people know, I have my Facebook personality, my Twitter, Tumblr and of course work, friends and family. Although we are all one individuals we are all made up of characters within each other.

For example this blog – this blog allows for me to express how I feel without being too personal but I can “name and shame” through different words. I can of course moan about work and show my frustrations with the world. This blog allows me to aspire to what and who I want to be. My creativity, my thoughts, my feelings and my opinions.

My Facebook – is for those who have known me since School, I am sure that people have an opinion of me, whether it be geek, friendly, cool, trustworthy, bitch etc. God knows, it’s where I put up my photos, communicate with those and be pleasant.

Twitter – allows me to express my opinions, unlike Facebook if I don’t want to be your friend of course I won’t be. I have my own personal twitter and of course www.twitter.com/loveyouandthem 😉 if you fancy a follow haha!!

Tumblr – I have again two accounts personal and my tumblr for this account – loveyouandthem.tumblr.com – this account allows me to create an account in which I can express my true likes and dislikes without being judge by my own personal tumblr.

Work – I try not to be different from what I am towards my family, of course you need to show a bit more respect, patience and determination to be good – but most of the time work colleagues can be two faced or stressed and they are sometimes not your true friends, unless you find those unique ones.

Family & Friends – It is without a doubt that every one has these two personalities – I am not even going to go into it, as I bet you will just understand.

So, why do we all have these personalities and why can’t we just be true to ourselves and act as that one person? Are we ashamed? Are we scared? Are we living a lie? Or do we enjoy the thrill?